Would she stay or would she go?

I feel like it's been forever since I've blogged except my letters from Sean, It feels like all my days run together and if it can happen it has happened...
This week I just feel like I'm hanging on by a thread I'm always tired and so much going on. The beginning of the week we were faced with the question of would she stay of would she go??? It started when we took my grandma to the emergency room on Monday she has been bleeding a lot in her stools and we have been waiting for test results, Hospice decided we need to get her over to the er, after some test and exams they said she has a lower GI bleeding and we needed to decide what we wanted to do as a family, they could admit her and do a colonoscopy and find out where she was bleeding and how bad but the prep for the is going to be extremely hard for her because we are lucky if we can get her to drink a little let alone a gallon of nastiness but of course my mom and aunt said just make her comfortable and fix it. But we were still confused because the doctor was giving us mixed signals so my aunt and I asked the doctor to bluntly tell us what he thinks. He told us this is a decision that the family needs to make but bluntly " If my grandma could have her mind back for 5 minutes to make the decision on her own would she want to try fix the problem or would she want to be with the one she so dearly misses?" Well that's all he had to say we know what my grandma wants and its not to be here. He said take her home make her comfortable and get our family and make some good memories... That is what we did and she is home resting and hes been the last three day with only 10 minutes awake here and there. Its very hard to know the end is near but at the same time it will be such a blessing because my grandma is not living she is just existing and don't know nothing that's really going on around her. We will all miss her but I know my grandpa is waiting for her with open arms. I love you Grandma..